Beloved

I have been reading The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers and it has been such a blessing to me lately. To be able to read about the spiritual struggle of a girl my age is so interesting. (this may be kind of a spoiler, so sorry if you are wanting to read it!) Dynah Carey is in college and is walking home from work and is raped, and later finds out she is pregnant. The battle that Dynah faces with trying to choose abortion or not and is completely waiting on God's call to tell her what she needs to do.

I have had to force myself to put this book down at night because I never get tired reading it. It is just that good. To know that this girl is able to get through this very, very hard time in her life, gives me sooo much hope that I can and will get through anything thrown at me.

"Convicted. Redeemed. On a mission. But it's not like it was in the beginning. That emotional high. Feeling on fire. There's effort, day by day, one-foot-in-front-of-the-other effort. And trust. That's been the hardest for me. Trusting God. Walking in faith that He knows better than I do what's best for me."

This quote was one said to Dynah by her friend Joe. He was talking about his spiritual walk. His walk is a lot like mine (mixed with Dynah's at the same time). I could read this quote over and over and get something new from it every time. I am quick to say that trusting God has been something that is hard for me. To think that His plan is SO much better than what I expect is hard for me to grasp because I want to believe that I should have total control over my life.

And another thing is that I have so many friends who think that the minute they are saved or are "born-again Christians" that they are going to have it easy the rest of their life. That is SO not true and this quote says it right there. "There's effort, day by day, one-foot-in-front-of-the-other effort." I have to continually remind myself that HE is so much greater than anything and everything that will ever happen. I take baby steps every day to get closer and closer to Him. And I LOVE the struggle. It helps me know that my God is ALWAYS there for me.

Throughout this book when Dynah hears God talking to her, she is approached by being called "Beloved." According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary beloved means: dearly loved; dear to the heart. To know that God sees us ALL as beloved is just... sooo... enlightening.

To be seen as Beloved was a theme this year at our freshman orientation. 

It is also a word that I have been called many times by my area coordinator and it just makes me realize how loved I truly am, even when I think I am going through things alone. 

It is used so many times throughout this book and when God is speaking to Dynah, sometimes I feel 

as if those words are going straight to me too. 

Lord, thank you so much.

Thank you for blessing me with this book

and it's ability to make me feel Beloved.

You alone have been my stronghold.

And I know that you will forever be that.