Grace, Not Perfection.

Mind=Blown.
That was my first initial reaction after reading this.

It has been a couple weeks since I first read this quote, and I think I have beat myself up over the fact that I truly struggle when it comes to living a gracious life! Am I gracious with my apartment gets left a mess? Not usually. To people who are rude? Sometimes. To my friends and family when they really pinch the wrong nerve? Maybe not outwardly. To the several kids that I babysit that constantly pick fights with each other? Not at all.


There are things that I cannot change in the moment, but the way I respond to the situation is definitely what determines the outcome. I am 20 years old and I still find some kind of joy in being able to pick on my little sister sometimes. By all means I should not allow these kids to continue to do so, but do I really need to become instantly annoyed about it? Of course not!

This quote makes me realize that there are often too many instances that I have strived to be perfect. In my life, I have continually told myself that anything less than perfect is not good enough. And it is actually quite funny that I say that because I doubt anyone would have pegged me to be that person. I have made many decisions in my life that would never constitute themselves as perfect, but to me—it was my way of trying to be perfect to someone, in some way.

I have a constant battle with myself over this all the time. Being the perfect friend. At one point—The perfect girlfriend. The perfect roommate. The perfect counselor. The perfect role model. The perfect Christian.


The idea of being a perfect Christian is impossible, yet we see people striving to be this day in and day out. Including myself! 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."


What if I could embrace this idea of gracious living and make it the standard for me?
What if I could extend that grace outwardly, making myself a better person?
What if I could accept the grace that is constantly poured out to me and remember that it is perfect?

Sometimes I need to stop, think, and TRULY realize that God DOES see me as perfect in His eyes and it is all because of His marvelous GRACE.

I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

Lord, help me see myself as you see me.

Sometimes I try to be a perfectionist, but

if I could truly grasp that you already see

me as perfect, then maybe I will be able to

hold myself to a standard of grace. I want 

to knowingly live out a gracious life 

and extend that grace to others. 

From the Inside Out

Today in church we sang From the Inside Out by Hillsong United and it quickly reminded me of why I originally started this blog: To let people know how God is working in my life.

This blog has quite often become a place for me to vent rather than for me to share with people how great God is. And that is something that I would really like to change. I will still share with you my struggles because we all know how powerful prayer is and that sharing with others is a blessing, but I want to get back to the soul reason I started this blog.

It's amazing to me how much has changed for me. During this month 3 years ago, I was going through the hardest season of my life. I am no where close to the same person I was, and to think that three years is not really that long ago. On facebook the other day, someone posted "There is no room for shame at the foot of the cross, only worship." Three years ago, I would have responded to this quote in a completely different manner. I probably would have said in my mind, "But nobody knows the shame I am carrying around and dealing with right now." Although I still have a very hard time talking about this situation in my life, I have finally realized that this can no longer control me.

It took me a very, very long time to understand that my God is so much bigger than the problems I face. Even when I make choices in life that have some pretty bad consequences, there is nothing that I can truly do about it other than know that I am no longer the choices I made.

I feel so at peace with the fact that I full comprehend that my past is not me. My decisions in the past are no longer a temptation to me, but have rather been an experience that has taught me so much. I still do not share my story often, but I am working on that.

I was selected to go on a month long trip to Romania with a group of students and leaders from George Fox and this is going to be a very life-changing moment in my life that I am very excited about.  This trip has also given me the opportunity to share my story with my team. I do admit that I am nervous for when this time comes though!

I want to be able to share my story so that I can show others that God truly transforms people from the inside out. I don't want to bring glory to things that have gone wrong in my life, but rather give all the glory to God for consuming me daily. There is just something about when you give control to God and know that every time you stumble, His grace will be right there to catch you.

Lord, I don't know how to explain

how grateful I am to be consumed daily

by Your presence. Your glory truly does

go beyond all fame. Thank you for 

transforming me from the inside out. 

I will continue to bring You praise.