Is this really it?

Amidst all of the chaos of finals week, I wanted to take the time to write a blog.
Although this one may be really short, it is just a little update.


I have just found out that I will not be playing softball this year and it has been quite the news. I haven't taken it very well because for the last 7 years, softball has been a huge part of my life. I play about 8 or 9 months out of every year. I know that softball is not something that is going to be forever, but is it really time for me to let it go already? I feel so unsatisfied with how things are ending up. I know God has a plan for everything, but does it really have to be so harsh all the time? I feel like God has been tugging at my heart about this for a long time now. Is this injury a sign of God telling me that this is the end? I can't help but think it might be and I am just having a really hard time believing it. I am always praying about it because I know I love the team and the coaches and I don't think God would put them into my life and then suddenly take them away. I am looking for a way to still be a part of the team just without playing, ya know? My friend Jocelynn on my team has also just been told she can't play this year either, for the second year in a row. She has been someone I have been able to talk to about it (along with Kayla Ward) because they have been going through the same emotions as me. 


Jocelynn shared this poem with me and it really meant a lot.


A Ball Players Prayer by Hal Skinner.

God grant me the wisdom,

to tell a strike from a ball,

to know where to throw,

and never to fall.

Keep me always in the base line,

running straight and true,

and I'll look for your sign,

to stretch one into two.

God give me vision,

to see every pitch,

so if a player needs help,

then I will see which.

Let me always hustle,

so I'll be at my best,

and take pride in myself,

in sports and the rest.

God be my strength,

when I throw the ball,

when I'm far from home plate,

or against a wall.

So I never miss a base,

please guide my feet,

bring me home safely,

so my job is complete.

When I help younger players,

let me always give praise,

so they'll see you in me,

in all of my ways.

God please guide our coach,

to be fair and smart,

to teach us to be good,

let it come from his heart.

Let me take a loss,

just as well as a win,

to do any less,

is surely a sin.

As long as I can play,

let me make my parents proud,

as proud as I am,

when they yell my name out loud.

However my games end,

let me always have fun,

and if Heaven has All-Stars,

I want to be one.

When my games here are over,

and my seasons are done,

let me play on your team,

just like your son.

Amen

I feel like this prayer helps me realize how much during a game always did these little "shoot up" prayers but in reality I am not praising God for how much He has given me through my experience with softball. All the people I have been able to help. All the people I have became close with because of the game.

So there is really just one question:

Is this really it?

Lord, help me with this decision.

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Can you please explain this one to me?

I am struggling to see where You take part in this.

Keep me at peace with whatever happens,

and  please guide me a long the way.