Scars.

I read this blog today that is written by the wife of the old pastor at Solid Rock in Beaverton, OR. I couldn't help but take a good chunk of it to share and write about it on my blog because this stuff is so dear to my heart. Her post really made me think about how blessed I am to have found and met this Man in my life that has changed everything about me and lets me know I am beautiful everyday... Even with my scars.

"The good girl gone bad was surrounded by bad.
Then one day she heard a story about a Man who could make bad people good. She didn't believe it at first. After all, none of those other things had worked. The bad seemed stuck.
No matter how she tried, all that darkness deep inside wouldn't stay down.

Days passed, weeks, months, until the day came when the Man-who-could-make-people-good invited the good-girl-gone-bad to come close. And when she did, He held out His hands to show her something really, really awful while He told her something really, really, beautiful.

The something awful was the scars. Ugly, oozing holes right through her hands.


Blood.


Pain.


Badness.


Everything in the girl wanted to turn away from those repulsive scars, yet something held her there, transfixed by this Good Man holding bad in His hands.


That when He told her something beautiful.


"The scars," He said, "were for you. All the bad you have ever done, all the bad you will ever do, all the bad you have become, is covered by those scars. Not hidden, not ignored, not pretended away, but covered by a love that changed everything. And what's more, I will use these sacred hands of mine to make you new. To change the way you are. To throw the past away. To hold you close so that you never have to hide again..... To make you GOOD."


And He did!


This blog post had me in tears. She was talking about a God who made her good even though he clearly saw all the scars she had. Even though He knew that she would eventually doing something and again turn away from Him.

This sounds allllllll too much like my story. And sometimes I think I take for granted how great of a God I have. This year I have had my fair share of ups and downs. But boy did He put me at the right school. I have so many great people here that I am able to just talk to and pray with about ANYTHING. And to know that your professors are more than willing to help you through situations and sit and pray with you as well.

My story always brings up the song Bring the Rain by MercyMe.

"I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise you with all that I've gone through.
The questions just amazes me.
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You."

And to me... My story, my life, my background, my hurts, my scars, my family, my friends, my everything... That's all I've ever known. That's who I am... And when I share my testimony with people, some people really don't understand how I am the way I am with the everything that I have gone through.

Sometimes I am ever surprised... But then I get to tell them the best part. My miracle.


That God, my Redeemer, picked ME up out of the mucky, miry pit of self-pity I had dug myself into and placed my feet securely on the solid rock. How He dusted me off, patched me up, and put a whole new song into my life.

My God is just THAT good is what I tell people. =)

Lord, sometimes I question what I did to deserve

You and Your everlasting love and forgiveness.

You have always been so good to me.

And I am so thankful to have a Father like You.