Lately I have been in this slump where I feel like things just haven't really been going my way. My grades aren't as good as I would like them, I am really struggling financially, I am not having a year where I feel included in the "George Fox Community" because I am living off campus, I am just getting over a nasty flu, and I am homesick more than I thought I would ever be.
But today has just been a HUGE blessing to me all around. It's one of those days that makes me realize that God really deserves so much more. I mean, I truly thank God for who I am today and I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Him, but how is it fair to Him that every time something bad goes wrong—I turn to Him and blame Him. In my last post I talked about how sometimes we think life should be fair because God is fair. But God is not life. God IS fair. But when things in life go wrong, by no means was it God trying to make "life unfair." God deserves so much more of me.
Today's Blessings:
- I have had a really nasty flu the last couple of weeks and today I woke up feeling better! I mean I am definitely not AMAZING, but I am not throwing up everywhere anymore.
- I had a coffee date with Melanie Hulbert and it was... simply wonderful. (Coffee wasn't an amazing choice after just getting over the flu, but it was great nonetheless.) Having coffee with Melanie reminded me of a quote I heard in a movie in my Social Work class the other day. "To be listened to and understood by someone who doesn't necessarily have to care...That's true comfort." Melanie genuinely wanted to know my story. And it was a blessing that I was able to share it.
- Today I got mail in my campus mail box and I still do not know the sender. What it had in it was a Bible verse and $200 cash. The front said "Haley Bellows #4777" and that was it. When I opened this, I teared up. I am SUPER struggling financially right now. My hours got cut at work, I can't find a second job, and I am behind on rent. And on top of that—My classes for Spring Semester got dropped because I have a financial hold on my account that has to be paid off by January 9th. This is probably one of the biggest blessings I have ever received and I FOREVER thankful for whoever did this.
- I applied for a Serve Trip recently and received an interview for it! The chance to go over seas is something that I have been praying about for A LONG time and would be an answer to my prayers. I know that God closes doors just as fast as He opens them, so I know that if I don't make it–He has bigger and better plans for me. Interview is tomorrow at 11 and I will know by next week sometime if I made the team or not!
- And just an ending note to me being homesick—FINALS ARE ALMOST HERE! As much as those stress me out–I am ready for this semester to be over. =)
This verse is one that I have held on to for a long time. My junior year, after some huge things happened in my life, I went to the winter retreat. I took a 2 hour walk in the woods with Chrissy Shelton and that is a walk that changed my life. That night in the cabin–She hopped onto my bed and showed me this verse. And this just so happened to be the verse that was in the anonymous envelope in my mail today too.
"And we that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."—Romans 8:28
Also included on my note was: "God is might...keep working, seeking, smiling, and believing!"
Lord, You are so good.
Thank You for showing Yourself in
a way that I could never deny You.
You make all things work together
for my good and I am forever thankful
to have such a protective God.
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