Ruined

I sit here in disbelief, but thankful. Broken-hearted but blessed.

I just walked through the valley, which is the lower part of Galati, Romania that is often forgotten and very poor. Houses with roofs caving in. Children with tired eyes. Stairs collapsing. Mothers hanging clothes outside with sweat dripping down their faces. Families begging on the corner.

I try to imagine what life would be like if I traded places with any of the people here in the valley.

Would I be the kid whose family got our house taken and now live with 30 people in 2 rooms of a rundown building?

Would I be the kid whose mother locks me out of the house in 20 below freezing weather because I took too long at the store?

Would I be the deaf grandmother working hard to take care of my grandchildren?

Would I be the kid who has to very carefully watch my step up to my house because the stairs are collapsing?

Or would I be the mother who gives away my meal to yet another child I so graciously welcome in to my home?

My heart aches after hearing story after story.

I think about the months growing up that my family didn't have water or electricity in the house. It was a struggle, but to these people-that is an everyday reality.

I remember collecting plastic bottles and cans with my siblings in order to do activities because my parents couldn't afford extras. It was hard not being able to do what all my friends could, but to these people-collecting bottles is a way of getting the basic necessities for survival.

Life is different here.

There is something that seems to be evident and parallel to life back home.

There is joy to be found in the pain.
There is redemption to be found in the suffering.

The youngest child of nine is making her way to college even after growing up in a one bedroom home with no water and electricity.

After years of homelessness and abuse from several different family members, a brother and sister are getting taken care of by wonderful people and making a new life for themselves.

A young man spends his summer in the library because he thrives in learning and making a future.

There is a safe and comfortable community that provides education, food, and a place for kids to be kids in the valley.

Being here in Romania and Moldova has completely reshaped my mind in what it means to be serving Jesus amongst the poorest of the poor.

I look around and wonder if this is the kind of place the Lord is calling me to? Or have I just developed this longing in me to indulge myself in this culture?

Either way. I know I will be back someday. There is just something beautiful about the grace found in the work being done here that has captured my heart. When I have to leave, a piece of my heart will remain over here.

My life has been ruined... in the best way possible.