Enjoy Every Moment

On April 6th, 2012—I was sitting in the doctors office when I was first told, "You have cancer."

Exactly two months from that date, June 6th, I will be on a plane to Romania—Cancer-free!

Now isn't that something?! Gosh, we serve a big God!

It has been almost 3 weeks since I found out that I was in remission and what a three weeks it has been. Fully of twists and turns. So much excitement, as well as many struggles. 

I struggle fighting my fear of relapse.

I struggle at times to find happiness.

I struggle to ask when I need something, even it is just to talk.

I think I had too high of an expectation in when it came to remission because I really do think I expected it to be all rainbows, butterflies, and kittens–so to speak. Which is true at times, a lot actually. But not always, and I need to be okay with that.

I don't know if I am able to say that I thank God for giving me cancer, but I do give thanks to Him for the amazing things He did within that battle. I give thanks for the growth that I have encountered in the darkness.

Someone told me today, "Don't forget to pray today because God didn't forget to wake you up this morning."

Then I tied this together with a quote a friend reminded me of the other day, "What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"

Those two things have really been getting my mind going. 

I need to pray and give thanks daily! 

Even if I struggle, God is in the midst of that. He takes on my struggles as His own. He bears the weight that I feel on His shoulders.

I tend to find myself thanking God for the big things. The miracles He performs, the big opportunities He has for me, etc. Yes, I obviously need to continue to do so, but I need to reshape my perspective on what I am thankful for.

The little things deserve just as much, if not more, praise because those things happen every second of every day. 

I am thankful for my pillow I get to sleep with every night.

I am thankful for my stuffed pig that reminds me of all the amazing memories I had with my Nana.

I am thankful for my cell phone that keeps me connected with the people that God has placed in my life.

I am thankful for beautiful sunsets that seem to always make my heart happy.

God puts these little blessings in my life, and I overlook them way too easily. 

I leave for Romania in 2 days and although I have many fears about this trip, I cannot let them overrule the thankfulness I feel because the happenings of the last 2 months has truly been the unmistakable hand of God (thanks Mandee!) in my life.

Lord, I want to give You thanks for everything.

Thank you for the little blessings that you put in

my life, and even when I seem to overlook them...

Thank you for continuing to show me Your

unmistakable work in my life. You are worthy of all praise.