I am not a statistic. =)

I think I can honestly say that I am completely and genuinely happy!
I may have said this before in past blogs, but even people around me have noticed my change.
And it's amazing to me that this can all happen over just one weekend.

I grew up in a home with the "earthly fatherly figure" that a lot of people don't have, but I have grown to look past that.
This weekend, as a counselor at a Winter Retreat, I was able to learn so much and be able to teach my freshman girls at the same time. We were taught about the correlation between our relationship with our earthly father versus our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Although my girls in my cabin had a hard time really getting a deep discussion out of the topic, it was something that was very close and dear to my heart and I know God had me at this retreat for a reason.

We learned about the 6 pictures of a Father. They were:

1. Your Father loves you unconditionally.
2. Your Father provides for you.
3. Your Father leads you and guides you.
4. Your Father encourages you.
5. Your Father sets boundaries.
6. Your Father protects you. 

And when the speaker shared this with me, I couldn't picture having an earthly father who did all of these things for me, but I realized that I am SOOOOO incredibly blessed to have a Heavenly Father who is more than willing to be those things for me.

This retreat has helped me grow so much in who I am. At one point in my life, I made myself believe that anything and everything that happened in my past was going to define who I am today. But when the speaker listed off all of these statistics about people who grow up in a fatherless home:

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
• 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
• 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
• 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes.
• 70% of juvenile in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes.
• 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in fatherless homes.

What I really got out of this is that- "I am not a statistic."
I think for me to be able to stand up in the front of the whole retreat and be able to affirm this out loud, really helped me inside kind of get through part of this open wound that I have neglected to deal with.
My Heavenly Father is really more than I will ever need and more than I could ever ask for, and I want people to know that. I want to be able to use my story to help others.
.................
And that's where my next part comes in.
I am current an Allied Health major here at George Fox University because I truly believed that becoming a Physical Therapist is something that God was calling me to do. I always wanted to be able to help people and this is where I thought this would be a good job for that. But what this past weekend made me realize is how I am looking for a much deeper need than that. I want to be able to use my story and be able to connect with the people I help on more of an emotional and spiritual level. I am really thinking God is challenging me to change my career path and that is something I have really been looking into and really praying about. George Fox offers many different choices, but I think the plan that I have kind of leaned towards changing to, when I get affirmation that He is wanting me to change majors, is double majoring in Christian Ministries and Social Work.

I currently have a physical therapy internship lined up for the summer if I want to take it. But I also currently just applied to be a Youth Intern at Calvary. I have really been praying that God really makes it easy for me in the idea of which path He wants me to take. If I do not get this internship for Calvary, I really do believe it is because God is wanting that Physical Therapy door to stay open. I am up for whatever He wants, but I am in the position where I want to be emotionally and spiritually involved with people this summer, and I am not quite sure if interning at a physical therapy place is really going to fill that need.
I believe that my God will provide me with the answers when the time is right, and I just need to remember that, "My Savior lives. My Savior Loves. My Saviors always there for me. My God He IS; My God He WAS; My God He is ALWAYS GONNA BE."

Lord, you have made me genuinely happy.

I could not ask for a more perfect Heavenly Father.

Thank you for all that you have done for me,

and for all that you have planned for me.

Guide me to make the right choice about my 

future and where you want me to go.

In Your name, Amen.