Willing to Endure

It has been almost a week since I returned back to the United States after spending some time over in Romania and Moldova.

I could not agree more with the people who told me before that the transition back in to life at home is a lot harder than one would expect.

Apart from the many nights of trying to overcome jet lag, I have spent my days in conversation and my nights journaling. I still can't even begin to comprehend how just 3 1/2 weeks in Romania/Moldova completely changed me. I miss it so much there, and it hasn't even been a full week!!

I miss sitting in the chapel and being brought to tears as we worshipped in both English and Romanian—knowing that no matter the language, we were praising the same God, our Heavenly Father who protects each one of us.

I miss the way my name was mispronounced by almost everyone there because for some reason the long "a" to them sounds like "ee". H{ee}ly.

I miss the way I missed being home, but being fully content in where I was at because the simplicity of the way I was living was awe-inspiring.

I miss our daily discussions that made me struggle with the ideas of poverty, suffering, and brokenness.

How do I keep this stuff fresh in my mind?
How do I continue to seek out a life of awareness?

I feel like Romania/Moldova took my heart out of my chest and smashed it into the ground, but not necessarily in a bad way. My heart has been stretched in a way that I am fully allowing Jesus to stretch out His cross. I understand sacrifice in a way that I never had before.

During chapel one morning in Moldova, I was challenged greatly by the verse 2 Timothy 2:10.

"Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory."

How willing am I to endure everything–suffering, pain, rejection–in order that others would come to know our Lord, Jesus Christ?

When I heard this, all I could think about was Sheraya. All the pain and suffering that both her and I were going through in order for her to come to know Jesus in the end. But this is only one time in my entire life that I can think of that I endured so much for the sake of someone obtaining salvation.

I think about the Word Made Flesh staff in both Romania and Moldova.
They live their life every day enduring so much in order to make sure that the children and teens at the Drop-in Centers would know that their Heavenly Father has them wrapped in His arms—always with them.

I am having to figure out how I am going to have that mindset without thinking that I have to sell all my stuff and become a missionary.

How do I integrate how I lived life overseas with how I live life here?
This is a question that I am sure I will be wrestling with for awhile. Although the answer may be simple... It's the training of my mind that will take some work.

"Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."