At home and at school, I had to try to be who I wanted to be whereas here at Fox... I don't really feel like I have to fight to be who I am, if that makes sense.
I am completely surrounded all the time by mostly all believers of Christ and with that I don't have to try and fight others to be who I am. I just get to be me.
I have previously stated that I have no fight left in me, but in reality, I still have fight left, I just don't have to use it when I surrounded by believers in Christ. (I hope this all makes sense because it makes sense in my head.)
That is where obedience comes in. I have been letting my feelings change my relationship with Christ. I have been running from Him, so I have FELT like I just don't need to try and make it right.
When I FEEL like I don't want to or don't need to give Him my burdens or even just simply open up His word, that is when I most need to do it because my feelings should not affect my obedience to Christ.
And along with obedience comes prayer.
Prayer is something that I have been in plenty of group discussions with at The Well or here at Fox and it just frustrates me because it is something so simple, yet so perplexing.
I have always prayed whether it be before meals, before bed, throughout out the day, long visits in the prayer chapel, etc. But for some reason I have not gotten any satisfaction out of it lately.
I feel like every prayer I say, shoots right up to ceiling and falls back in my face.
It makes me wonder why prayer is even needed and how do I know if what I am praying for is against what God has planned the situation.
These questions fill my mind with doubt, yet I want to find the answers!
Lord, help me to be obedient and find peace in you..
I pray for this daily. Help show me the answer.
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