Just For Laughs Part Two

A lot of people told me that they died laughing from my last post about the funny things people have said, so I started compiling this list as soon as I posted the last one. I actually found a bunch of them in my journal that I totally forgot about! I really enjoy thinking back to all the conversations I had! It puts a big smile on my face! =)

Enjoy!

"So you have non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Sooo... Are you gonna die? Or is it treatable? Or..."

"Haha, no. I'm not dying."

"Okay, good. Then it shouldn't be that bad, right?"

"I still have cancer, lol. Just because I'm not actually dying doesn't mean treatment is any different."

"Well that's dumb."

"Well how is school going?"

"School has been great, but I am actually not in school at the moment."

"Oh, how come?"

"Health problems, so I took the last few weeks off."

"Do you mind me asking what's wrong? I hope it's not too serious."

"Well, I actually have been battling cancer."

"Oh... Well, I should get going now..."

"I guess it has just been really hard taking this all in."
"Oh yeah. I know how you feel."

"So... Is chemo as bad as it is on TV?"

"So is that one of the bad kinds of cancer?"

"Are there any good kinds of cancer?"

"Sheraya, seriously?!"
"What?? We all gotta fart some time! I am sure everyone in this room is not gonna care about me farting! Plus my doctors tell me to make sure I fart because chemo has caused me to be constipated quite a bit!"
"Ummm... Little bit too much information there, lol."
(9 year old Eric) "That was a fart?! I thought someone did the whoopie cushion!"

(5 year old) "Are you still going to be able to play with me?"
"Yeah, I can still play with you!"
"Okay, good. Cause I can't draw a four square court by myself."

This conversation was held with Sheraya about a week before she passed away. She was really weak at that point, so she wasn't up and about like normal.
(Sheraya to nurse) "Why can't I just at least get up and move around a little bit?!"
(nurse) "Sheraya, your body is so weak. Maybe tomorrow." Nurse exits the room.
"Why are you wanting to get up so bad? When I feel weak, I just never want to move!"
"Well, I adopted this phrase from an older patient here. 'If you keep moving, they can't throw dirt on you!'"

"Your new nickname is Dragon Warrior. Mainly because of our family's love for Kung Fu Panda. I don't know why dragon, but you are a warrior!"

"I know you probably get asked this a ton, but what kind of cancer do you have again?"

"The contagious kind." (sarcastically obviously)

"Wait, what? What kind is that??"

**FYI—My doctor is very sarcastic and we mess with each other a lot.
(doctor) "Haley, I told you that you shouldn't be in the sun because your skin is a lot more sensitive! You are so sunburnt!"
"I'm sorry! I couldn't help it! The sun was just... right there! It was so beautiful outside!"
"Do you want skin cancer too?!"

This was the morning after my 2nd day of IV chemo (which wasn't too back because it was only a half hour long).

(doctor) "How are you feeling today, Haley?"

"Compared to after my first day of chemo, not too bad at all!"

"Well... We'll have to fix that!"

"I've had a lot of radiation so far. I feel like I should be like... Incredible Hulk by now. I feel cheated!"

(doctor) "Well, I would say after about Radiation number...8! Then you'll probably be good!"

**I am putting a 5 year old to bed early on before starting chemo and explaining to her that I would be taking medicine that makes me feel better, but might make my hair fall out**

"Do you want to say your nightly prayers?"

"Yes. Dear God, thank you for helping the doctors give Haley medicine that makes her better. Even if it makes her hair fall out. But please don't make me ever have to take that kind of medicine! Thank you! Amen."

(3 year old) "Haley, can I have a drink of your water?"

"Yeah, here you go."

Takes a drink and hands it back to me.

"Oh no. I'm not gonna get really sick like you, will I?"

(Sheraya) "You are familiar with the cancer diet, right?"
"No! The doctor's never said anything to me about one! What is it?"
"Well, we can eat whatever we want, whenever we want, even ice cream for breakfast!"
"I see, is that because of the nausea?"
"Haha, no! It's because I have cancer! Who is going to tell me no when I tell them I have cancer! You gotta milk it for all it's worth, Haley!"

I don't know if I am going to be able to come up with any more of these unless a lot more funny conversations happen. So.... that was fun! =)

I am Weak. He is Strong.

I found this picture today and I really liked it, so I thought I'd share.

It has definitely been a pretty rough weekend.

I think I got so excited about being in remission that I didn't realize the effect that chemo and radiation would still have on my body even after I am done with the actual treatments.

I have been laid up all weekend. Literally.
I was cramping up so bad that when I stood up to go to the bathroom, I thought I was going to pass out. Then on top of that, I have been experiencing horrible headaches and hot flashes.
And when I talked to the doctor about it, all they can say is that it is a normal side effect to those who have had chemo and also radiation in the pelvic region.
Chemo and radiation can put you in a pre-menopausal state. Sometimes it is just temporary, and other times it can be permanent. The doctors explained to me that a lot of patients experience this earlier on, but it is not uncommon that you experience this after you stop treatment too.

On top of that, my body is still experiencing fatigue, that in which I know is obviously completely normal. Although the doctors have told me that my white blood cell levels are high enough to go to Romania, I find myself still pretty nervous about where my body is at physically.

They have me on immune boosters and are doing radiation this Tuesday, but what happens if I get sick when I am overseas? The thought of feeling like I have this weekend in a different country kind of freaks me out. But then again, I just feel like I have a lot of the "crazies" getting in my head. So many people are worried about me getting sick (which obviously makes sense), but ever since I found out I have been able to go... All I have is a negative image of getting sick.

I know that the doctors wouldn't clear me to go unless they thought I was safe to do so and they never even really had any doubts about it either. When they did the tests on me last week, they gave me an okay without any real hesitations, which has gotta mean something, right?

I can only hope and pray that in these 9 more days leading up to leaving for Romania that I will gain some more strength back and not feel like I have this weekend. I have this deep longing to go serve in Romania, but I just pray that my fear of getting sick doesn't overpower my ability to mentally be ready to serve.

Lord, I know you have a plan for all of this.

I trust that You know exactly what you are 

doing. Although my body is weak, I know

that You are strong. My flesh my fail, but,

my God—You never will.  Thank you for 

all that You have done in my life, and all

that You will continue to do. I praise You.

Just For Laughs

Today I just really felt the need to have a fun blog! I just wanted to post some of the funny conversations and statements that have happened throughout this whole journey (well, as many as I can remember). Also—I bolded the parts I said.

"Is there anything you need?" 

"Umm... Can I have your uterus?" 

"Will it make my stomach flatter?!?!"

"Oh and didn't that lady over in that house die of.....(stops sentence)"

"You can say the word cancer, ya know. It's okay, lol."

"Bellows, let's look at the bright side of this... You can win the Tour de France like 7 times after this." 

"Umm, Haley. You recover from your cancer symptoms really fast" (said by 7 yr old)

"Hey....Remember that time your cancer disappeared??"

"No, she can't take vitamins! I started reading a lot of cancer blogs and have read that several times!"

"I feel like we need to name your uterus..... How about Ursula??"

"P.S. Since you're wanting real, normal conversations, thought I'd tell you that..... I'm picking up dog poop!"

"You must be so jealous of the metal taste that I am getting from chemo!"
"I should try sucking on pennies to see if I can get the full effect!"

"Well, it's okay if you do lose all your hair... Because then you would have like a... baby bird head!! All fuzzy and stuff!"

"Look at the bright side! Your cancer color is LIME GREEN!"

"Wanna know why I know you can get through this? Because you have gotten through worser times than this... Like that time you peed your pants!"

 "I don't know if you remember or not, but I said I only like you for your cancer....So now that it's gone..."

"If you drink that kind of green smoothie, then maybe you will poop out all your cancer."

"You really need to milk this for all that it's worth! Can't you get a handicap parking ticket? Or what about if you enter every restaurant by saying, 'Hey! I have cancer and I'm hungry'—Think they'll give you free food??"

"So I decided that I am pretty much done with this whole cancer thing."
"Did you tell your cancer that? Maybe if you demanded it, it would go away?"

"Ugh, I keep losing weight! I can't even keep my jeans on!"

"#cancerproblems"

"Sheraya, it is probably not a good idea to trip the poor little guy! He is only 8!"
"Haley, if only you knew half the things he has done to me. He may look sweet and innocent, but he is as good at pranks as Ashton Kutcher."

"Haley! You really should drink green tea though! I saw on a movie that it decreases your chance of getting cancer by 15%!"
"Umm, I already have cancer."

"Hey, how was chemo?"
"It was not good at all. I was throwing up ALL night and then I woke up this morning completely fatigued. My whole body just wants to die."
"That stinks. I am not feeling too good either. My allergies are driving me crazy!"
"You win." (sarcastically)
"Ugh, I know. They are the worst."

"What kind of cancer do you have?"
"Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma."
"I was right! My friend was telling me about his friend who died of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and I said I had a friend with it, but I wanted to make sure it was the same kind."

"Yes, I do have cancer."
"Wow, that sucks!"

"I heard that if you just eat some asparagus and a little bit of lemon water, you'll be fine"

"At least now you can stop worrying about getting cancer since you already have it!"

"Sheraya, you say the craziest things, lol."
"We need to make a 'Sh** Cancer Patients Say' video!"

(doctor) "So, can you tell me what your poop was like last time you went?"

"Why do you need to know about my poop??"

"Well... I guess I'm not really sure. I really just need to know if you are constipated or not?"

"Umm, nope. I am pooping regularly."

"Good to know."

"Haley!! You need to contact Make A Wish Foundation!! Doooo ittt!!!"

"I have to be under 18 to do that."

"Can't you just lie about your age?"

(Sheraya) "If someone tells me that my head feels like a peach one more time!"

"What are you gonna do?"

"Let them know that I would gladly help them get their head to feel like it too!"

"I can't get this stupid IV cord to stop twirling around my arm!"

"#chemoproblems"

"I gained 6 pounds! So excited!"

"I think you are the only person I know that gets excited about that."

And... I think that's a wrap. If I start remembering more, I will start compiling another blog full. Hope you enjoyed some of these! I sure had quite the laugh remembering these conversations.

When Opportunities Arise

I am sitting here at a coffee shop, eyes completely red and puffy from crying. Thankful that I decided not to wear any makeup today because I knew that would turn in to a mess.

Today was a day of celebration. A day to celebrate the life of my dear friend, Sheraya Mason.

I was given a days notice that I would be speaking at the service. Not only speaking, but speaking first! As well as praying after I was done speaking.

Praying–I can do.

Speaking in front of people–Not so much.

I had originally told myself that I was not going to prepare a speech of any sort because I knew that would cause me to freak out a bit, but about a half hour before the service I realized that not having any sort of plan REALLY freaked me out.

So I sat there on the pew throwing together some bullet points for the speech as well as writing out what I thought to be a good ending before I prayed. As the service began, I sat there rewording a lot of things, trying to make a decent ending. The choir stopped and that was my queue to head up to the stage. I slowly stood up and made my way to the front, knots in my stomach. 

And of course... Me being me... Tripped up the stairs on my way to the podium. So embarrassing!! 

But at least that is one way to break the awkward silence before I had to start actually talking. So once everyone stopped chuckling, I began.

I started off by sharing a bit about me so people didn't think that I was some random girl talking FIRST at Sheraya's Celebration of Life. I talked about how I met her and how she introduced herself to me by saying, "Welcome to the worst place on earth, but don't be scared–We make it fun!"

That got a good laugh from the audience.

I talked about the impact she made on my life. I shared with them many memories I had with her. Then I went on to explain how blessed I was to be able to be the one share with her God's beautiful gift of salvation and how Sheraya thrived in learning more about the Lord as her days drew to an end. 

People in the audience were crying, which then of course made me start choking up. 

I remember talking for a bit longer between that moment, and the ending, but I don't remember exactly what I said. But here is the ending that I had scribbled out a half hour before the service.

"We are all sitting here not to grieve the loss of our precious friend Sheraya, but rather to celebrate her life. Although her death came quicker than expected, we all know that she is sitting embraced in the arms of Jesus. I am so grateful to have known her for the few short weeks that I did. I am grateful that Sheraya was there to make me laugh in times of suffering. She had a contagious smile and a heart of gold. All of my memories with her will be cherished and remembered forever. Sheraya will forever live in my heart... In our hearts. I know everyone says "She wouldn't want us to be crying..." at a time like this, but I don't know if that would be true with her. She truly embraced the times she cried because she knew it was always for some special meaning. So as we sit here, reminisce on the tears you shed with Sheraya, whether it be out of joy or pain because those are the times that mean so much. Let's embrace together the gratefulness that we all feel for being given the chance to have known Sheraya. She will be forever missed, but I know that in time, I will get to meet her again. We will all get to meet Sheraya again and I'm sure she'll be sitting there at Heaven's gates ready for us. Let's pray..."

I sit here thinking about how I was just up on stage a couple hours ago saying this, and I am in disbelief. Did I really say this? I don't even remember it even a little bit. 

But what I do remember is trying to contain my sobbing as I was praying. Trying to catch my breath as choked out the words, "In Jesus Name, Amen." 

I sat there for a second with my eyes still closed, listening to the sniffling of everyone in the audience. I looked up and one by one people started standing up. Clapping. Do people really clap at these things??? Although I was slightly confused at that, I was overcome by joy. I felt a peace about the words I shared because I knew that they were meaningful in many ways.

And boy am I glad that I wrote out my ending before hand because I am sure I would have drawn a complete blank! 

The rest of the service was absolutely beautiful. And after the service I was approached by more people than I would have ever imagined. People thanking me left and right for the wonderful speech I gave. All of this affirmation was such a blessing.

I don't know if I would ever volunteer to give a speech at this sort of thing again, but if asked, there is a good chance that I would say yes!

I feel so honored to have been able to share on behalf of Sheraya. 

"Those we love don't go away,

They walk beside us every day,

Unseen, unheard, but always near,

Still love, still missed, and very dear."

Lord, although I know my nerves will

always get the best of me in this sort 

of situation, I thank you so much for the

opportunity to speak truth in to the lives

of others that know Sheraya. Thank you 

for her friendship. I am so blessed.

Living For Today

I have sat at my computer every night for the last four nights wanting so much to get some words out on my page. Nothing has came. I have had a complete mental block and it has been driving me crazy!

I couldn't understand for the longest time why I couldn't get anything out because I feel like there is so much to write about! I have been in Remission for almost a week now and it still feels pretty surreal.

I think I have pretty much pin-pointed the reason why I have struggled to get anything written. I think I have tried so hard to figure out how to write how overjoyed I am and how exciting life has been since I found out that I am in Remission...

I am not discounting at all how great it has been because I have had an absolute blast! The first night I spent in remission with friends was amazing and then the following days of celebration with going out to lunch, dinner, coffee dates, and a zoo trip were wonderful. Then I just spent an amazing weekend in Portland with friends that was a real treat, but underneath that all... There is this intense amount of fear.

I go throughout the day completely packing my day with excitement without ever giving myself the time of day to think about how I am really feeling. Then when I get to the end of the day and want to blog or sleep, my mind races. I think about what life was like before I was diagnosed, but it almost seems as if that will never happen again. My body is still weak, trying to recover from chemo. How long will that take to go away?

I wake up the next morning always wondering if this is the day that the cancer is going to come back, and it scares me that I don't have as many appointments because what if during that extended period of time it came back? But I have to fight every day to make sure that my extreme amount of worry does not overtake the joy that I have in my life.

I have to remind myself every morning that God is with me in sickness AND in health. And just because of that... I have reason to celebrate every single day.

I think a word that has completely transformed my mind throughout this whole journey is the word "Courage." Even with things that I have endured in my past, I don't think that I have truly known what it means to have courage until these last 6 weeks.

Courage: *The ability to do something that frightens one.
               * Strength in the face of pain or grief.

This defines my journey. I have found courage within me that I never knew was there and it has been something that I have been able to share with others too. Cancer is scary. It is painful and I have had to endure through a lot of suffering. But I have been able to endure and fight.

One of the definitions I found said something along the lines that courage is facing pain without fear. But I think that is completely wrong. Fear is an emotion that I don't think will ever go away, but it is something that I can definitely contain.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.


Joy is so much more important than fear.
Faith is so much more important than fear.
Hope is so much more important than fear.

I need to surrender daily and fight to defend these things from being taken away from me.

This morning on my way to my doctors appointment, the song Live for Today by Natalie Grant came on and I could not have been happier to hear it.


"You told me not to worry
About what lies ahead
So I am gonna focus on today instead
Making every moment count and counting
Every single blessing
I'm gonna set my mind on the 
Here and the Now
This is what I want my life to be about
And this is how....
I'm gonna live for today
I'm gonna follow in your way
I'm gonna let my little light shine
Like there's no tomorrow
I won't worry about the past
I know my future is intact
So I'll choose to live my life one way
I'm gonna life it for today." 

Then today as I was sharing all of this stuff with my counselor... She explained to me that all of my emotions are completely normal. She said that everyone has fear of relapse, and fear that things won't ever return to normal. Then she showed me a quote that I thought was just so wonderful. (she is really good at giving me stuff like this!)

"All you have is today. The past is gone. The future is yet to be. Peace of mind only exists in the present. Worry about the past and fear of the future are two emotions that keep you from living the moment and rob you of the beauty of today. Living in the present is living life to the fullest, as if each day were your last. The simple pleasure of the moment are yours for the asking. All you have to do it take the time to pause by the flowers and savor their scent, hug your friends and family and tell them you love them every chance you get, savor the smells of the food you are cooking, and give thanks for the gift of life and waking up to a brand new day." 

Lord, I thank you for the gift of life.

For having new mercies for me every

morning. For blessing me beyond

what I could ever imagine. I serve a 

God who is so awesome!!!!!

PS: I got the go ahead to go on my mission trip to Romania in June!! I am so excited!!!!! 
Praise the Lord!!

(I am currently behind on fundraising though because of everything that happened, so if you would like to help me out, let me know please! There are a couple weeks left before the trip and anything helps!)