"Is there anything you need?"
"Umm... Can I have your uterus?"
"Will it make my stomach flatter?!?!"
"Oh and didn't that lady over in that house die of.....(stops sentence)"
"You can say the word cancer, ya know. It's okay, lol."
"Bellows, let's look at the bright side of this... You can win the Tour de France like 7 times after this."
"Umm, Haley. You recover from your cancer symptoms really fast" (said by 7 yr old)
"Hey....Remember that time your cancer disappeared??"
"No, she can't take vitamins! I started reading a lot of cancer blogs and have read that several times!"
"I feel like we need to name your uterus..... How about Ursula??"
"P.S. Since you're wanting real, normal conversations, thought I'd tell you that..... I'm picking up dog poop!"
"You must be so jealous of the metal taste that I am getting from chemo!"
"I should try sucking on pennies to see if I can get the full effect!"
"Well, it's okay if you do lose all your hair... Because then you would have like a... baby bird head!! All fuzzy and stuff!"
"Look at the bright side! Your cancer color is LIME GREEN!"
"Wanna know why I know you can get through this? Because you have gotten through worser times than this... Like that time you peed your pants!"
"I don't know if you remember or not, but I said I only like you for your cancer....So now that it's gone..."
"If you drink that kind of green smoothie, then maybe you will poop out all your cancer."
"You really need to milk this for all that it's worth! Can't you get a handicap parking ticket? Or what about if you enter every restaurant by saying, 'Hey! I have cancer and I'm hungry'—Think they'll give you free food??"
"So I decided that I am pretty much done with this whole cancer thing."
"Did you tell your cancer that? Maybe if you demanded it, it would go away?"
"Sheraya, it is probably not a good idea to trip the poor little guy! He is only 8!"
"Haley, if only you knew half the things he has done to me. He may look sweet and innocent, but he is as good at pranks as Ashton Kutcher."
"Haley! You really should drink green tea though! I saw on a movie that it decreases your chance of getting cancer by 15%!"
"Umm, I already have cancer."
"Hey, how was chemo?"
"It was not good at all. I was throwing up ALL night and then I woke up this morning completely fatigued. My whole body just wants to die."
"That stinks. I am not feeling too good either. My allergies are driving me crazy!"
"You win." (sarcastically)
"Ugh, I know. They are the worst."
"What kind of cancer do you have?"
"Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma."
"I was right! My friend was telling me about his friend who died of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and I said I had a friend with it, but I wanted to make sure it was the same kind."
"Yes, I do have cancer."
"Wow, that sucks!"
"I heard that if you just eat some asparagus and a little bit of lemon water, you'll be fine"
"At least now you can stop worrying about getting cancer since you already have it!"
"Sheraya, you say the craziest things, lol."
"We need to make a 'Sh** Cancer Patients Say' video!"
"Hey....Remember that time your cancer disappeared??"
"No, she can't take vitamins! I started reading a lot of cancer blogs and have read that several times!"
"I feel like we need to name your uterus..... How about Ursula??"
"P.S. Since you're wanting real, normal conversations, thought I'd tell you that..... I'm picking up dog poop!"
"You must be so jealous of the metal taste that I am getting from chemo!"
"I should try sucking on pennies to see if I can get the full effect!"
"Well, it's okay if you do lose all your hair... Because then you would have like a... baby bird head!! All fuzzy and stuff!"
"Look at the bright side! Your cancer color is LIME GREEN!"
"Wanna know why I know you can get through this? Because you have gotten through worser times than this... Like that time you peed your pants!"
"I don't know if you remember or not, but I said I only like you for your cancer....So now that it's gone..."
"If you drink that kind of green smoothie, then maybe you will poop out all your cancer."
"You really need to milk this for all that it's worth! Can't you get a handicap parking ticket? Or what about if you enter every restaurant by saying, 'Hey! I have cancer and I'm hungry'—Think they'll give you free food??"
"So I decided that I am pretty much done with this whole cancer thing."
"Did you tell your cancer that? Maybe if you demanded it, it would go away?"
"Ugh, I keep losing weight! I can't even keep my jeans on!"
"#cancerproblems"
"Sheraya, it is probably not a good idea to trip the poor little guy! He is only 8!"
"Haley, if only you knew half the things he has done to me. He may look sweet and innocent, but he is as good at pranks as Ashton Kutcher."
"Haley! You really should drink green tea though! I saw on a movie that it decreases your chance of getting cancer by 15%!"
"Umm, I already have cancer."
"Hey, how was chemo?"
"It was not good at all. I was throwing up ALL night and then I woke up this morning completely fatigued. My whole body just wants to die."
"That stinks. I am not feeling too good either. My allergies are driving me crazy!"
"You win." (sarcastically)
"Ugh, I know. They are the worst."
"What kind of cancer do you have?"
"Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma."
"I was right! My friend was telling me about his friend who died of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and I said I had a friend with it, but I wanted to make sure it was the same kind."
"Yes, I do have cancer."
"Wow, that sucks!"
"I heard that if you just eat some asparagus and a little bit of lemon water, you'll be fine"
"At least now you can stop worrying about getting cancer since you already have it!"
"Sheraya, you say the craziest things, lol."
"We need to make a 'Sh** Cancer Patients Say' video!"
(doctor) "So, can you tell me what your poop was like last time you went?"
"Why do you need to know about my poop??"
"Well... I guess I'm not really sure. I really just need to know if you are constipated or not?"
"Umm, nope. I am pooping regularly."
"Good to know."
"Haley!! You need to contact Make A Wish Foundation!! Doooo ittt!!!"
"I have to be under 18 to do that."
"Can't you just lie about your age?"
(Sheraya) "If someone tells me that my head feels like a peach one more time!"
"What are you gonna do?"
"Let them know that I would gladly help them get their head to feel like it too!"
"I can't get this stupid IV cord to stop twirling around my arm!"
"#chemoproblems"
"I gained 6 pounds! So excited!"
"I think you are the only person I know that gets excited about that."
And... I think that's a wrap. If I start remembering more, I will start compiling another blog full. Hope you enjoyed some of these! I sure had quite the laugh remembering these conversations.
No comments:
Post a Comment