This was my word that I first thought of this morning.
When I got home yesterday after having spent hours crying about Sheraya, I was extremely exhausted. My eyes were heavy and dry and would have a burning sensation when I tried to keep them open. I tried doing some of the relaxation things that my counselor had done with me the same day. Yet I could not fall asleep at all.
I laid there, eyes closed, mind running full speed.
I feel like I laid there for hours reminiscing over the tears Sheraya and I cried together, from both joy and pain.
I remember when she would tell me the "hot gossip" about the old man that sat diagonally from us across the chemo room.
I remember the time when I sat there quickly getting nauseous, but I couldn't help but laugh when she said, "You look like you just got off a tilt a whirl!"
I remember the time that Eric, a 9 year old boy with leukemia, finally got her back with the Whoopie Cushion and she did nothing but congratulate him. But then as soon as she returned next to me, she started planning her next attack.
I remember when she had the whole chemo room in laughter because one of the days that she didn't have chemo, she came in and taught all of the younger kids how to plank.
And along with all these times of joy, I deeply remember the tears we shared.
Tears shared over finally understanding what it means to have a Heavenly Father.
Tears shared after the first time we exchanged our stories with each other.
Tears shared as we talked about her fear of the unknown that comes with death, which was followed by tears of joy as I explained to her what it means to live eternally in Heaven in the embrace of the Great Physician.
I had only known her for a few short weeks, but every moment spent with her will be a memory that lasts a lifetime.
I am still left speechless at the power and faithfulness of God. He sent me in to her life at the very moment she needed me most. And in this very painful circumstance, our Lord made it beautiful.
I grieve the loss of my dear beloved friend, but I praise Jesus as He has welcomed her home. I thank God for freely giving us the beautiful gift of salvation and promising us that we are held.
"All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship"
I praise the Lord that "out of chaos, life is being found in You."
Lord, thank you for providing me an
unexplainable peace in these moments
of tragedy. You are holding Sheraya in
Your arms and that makes my heart
happy. To You be the glory forever.
Haley,
ReplyDeleteYou are probably one of the strongest people I know.
Prayers as always,
Austin