Suffering Servant

I have been asked several times if these 6 weeks of suffering, pain, and fear were worth it. Or if I would do it all over again if I could...

It might be a little soon for me to say that I would do it all over again, but there is no doubt in my mind that those 6 weeks were worth it.

Every minute spent in tears.
Every bit of sickness.
Every time I felt like giving up.

All I can ever think about now is how precious Sheraya must have been to the Lord. He placed me in her life just in time for her to spend eternity with Him. And that was obviously all in His timing. I don't doubt that for even a second.

But aside from knowing that Sheraya's life was saved because of God's beautiful gift of salvation, I grew more than I could ever imagine.

I had a wonderful conversation the other day with a friend that has been in remission for about 6 years now and she really put a lot of great perspectives on things I hadn't thought about before. She is truly inspiration to me! And I can't wait to have more conversation with her!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified." Romans 8:28-30.

So beyond knowing that God works for the good of those who love him, He predestined us to be conformed to the image of his Son. Jesus was a suffering servant. So in order to be in his image, we must also face pain, but continue to serve. Moments like these–the depths of despair–these are the moments we ultimately know what it means to be Christlike. Our suffering has the capability of relating to Jesus' suffering, which then brings us to experiencing the power of new life. And I want to thank Cheree for helping me fully understand that.

I am praying now that I can fully understand that in sickness AND in health, Jesus is near and always will be. It has always been said that it is easy to lose sight of God after a huge amount of suffering because He seemed SO near in the hard times. I don't want to be left asking, "Where is He now?" I want to continue to desire to know Him more in every season of my life.

Knowing Christ is a relationship that surpasses all and these are words I must cling on to when in the midst of suffering. Because in those moments of misery is when I will be able to grasp this knowledge of Christ's presence in my life in a way I have never before.

I am not saying that I would love to be suffering my whole life, but what I am saying is that I will never look at suffering the same after these last 6 weeks.

Praise the LORD that I am in remission because even my doctor said that there really is no explanation, other than a miracle, behind the disappearance of (almost) all of the cancer. A friend yesterday said, "I am never surprised by God, but I am always amazed." And I do not think there are better words than these in a time like this!

I just wanted to take this time for all of your prayers and support!! All the cards, gifts, phone calls, visits, hanging out, etc. Friendship and love is such a beautiful thing and has helped carry me through to this point and I could not be more thankful!!

Thank you to everyone who contributed to my still-growing Box!
And those who contributed in other ways, those memories are in my heart!!

Although I am in remission, prayers are still needed!
Prayers that God would perpetuate this healing.
That I would stay in remission without any relapsing.

May 15th, 2012 is a day that will never be forgotten.
God is still good.

Lord, I can't praise You enough for being

with me in sickness and in health. The

suffering that I have endured has drawn

me to You in a way that I have never 

experienced before. You are the Great

Physician and I thank you for the

miracle You have performed in my life.