Get Those Lies Outta Here

After having a really good day of seeing friends, going to counseling, having a movie night, and blogging... I just felt genuinely happy and as if I was truly covered in an unexplainable peace.

I got home late yesterday evening feeling really good, but not quite tired. I journaled for a bit and then remembered that the new Grey's Anatomy was that night. So I decided to watch that before hittin the hay.

I think I would have learned by now that watching medical TV shows is probably not the best idea. I sat there in tears as Arizona cried in Callie's arms about never wanting to be alone because her brother's best friend, her "rock," was dying from cancer.

So I laid in my bed, weeping.

I obviously know that I am not dying, but I just couldn't help but think to myself "What if I end up being alone in this?" And at that very moment, a sudden whoosh of complete loneliness covered me.

In this very instant, I think Satan finally found his foothold. I felt attacked in a way that I haven't in a long time. Although I knew deep inside that I am not alone, at that very moment I felt like I had absolutely no one in the world. And it was 1am, so I was not about to text or call anyone.

I felt like I was being drug in to a deep hole of spiritual attack. I found myself getting upset that I didn't have anyone to talk to and even getting mad that was no one was talking to me. I laid there for what seemed like hours wanting so much to pick up the phone and call someone but kept hearing in my head, "Anyone you call this late will be mad that you woke them up." 


All I remember is eventually crying myself to sleep, and waking up several times throughout the night from dreams of being in the hospital alone all the time.

I woke up this morning exhausted, and knowing that I cannot continue to feed in to the lies that the enemy plants in my head. I picked up my phone and I had a text with a picture in it. I opened up the text and was instantly brought to tears.

"I felt really compelled to send you this text this morning. I don't know what you are going through, but I want you to know that I am here for you. And I am sure many others are."

I received this text from a friend that I have not seen in years, one that probably has no idea of the battle I am going through right now.

Now if that is not a God-breathed message, I don't know know what is!

I am choosing to smile, laugh, and be happy today—fully knowing that I am not alone in this.

Lord, thank You once again for reminding me

that I am not alone. I am blessed by many 

friends as well as knowing that You are 

always near. I will continue to fight

through any spiritual attack that

comes my way. Thank you for

the strength You've given me.