When Opportunities Arise

I am sitting here at a coffee shop, eyes completely red and puffy from crying. Thankful that I decided not to wear any makeup today because I knew that would turn in to a mess.

Today was a day of celebration. A day to celebrate the life of my dear friend, Sheraya Mason.

I was given a days notice that I would be speaking at the service. Not only speaking, but speaking first! As well as praying after I was done speaking.

Praying–I can do.

Speaking in front of people–Not so much.

I had originally told myself that I was not going to prepare a speech of any sort because I knew that would cause me to freak out a bit, but about a half hour before the service I realized that not having any sort of plan REALLY freaked me out.

So I sat there on the pew throwing together some bullet points for the speech as well as writing out what I thought to be a good ending before I prayed. As the service began, I sat there rewording a lot of things, trying to make a decent ending. The choir stopped and that was my queue to head up to the stage. I slowly stood up and made my way to the front, knots in my stomach. 

And of course... Me being me... Tripped up the stairs on my way to the podium. So embarrassing!! 

But at least that is one way to break the awkward silence before I had to start actually talking. So once everyone stopped chuckling, I began.

I started off by sharing a bit about me so people didn't think that I was some random girl talking FIRST at Sheraya's Celebration of Life. I talked about how I met her and how she introduced herself to me by saying, "Welcome to the worst place on earth, but don't be scared–We make it fun!"

That got a good laugh from the audience.

I talked about the impact she made on my life. I shared with them many memories I had with her. Then I went on to explain how blessed I was to be able to be the one share with her God's beautiful gift of salvation and how Sheraya thrived in learning more about the Lord as her days drew to an end. 

People in the audience were crying, which then of course made me start choking up. 

I remember talking for a bit longer between that moment, and the ending, but I don't remember exactly what I said. But here is the ending that I had scribbled out a half hour before the service.

"We are all sitting here not to grieve the loss of our precious friend Sheraya, but rather to celebrate her life. Although her death came quicker than expected, we all know that she is sitting embraced in the arms of Jesus. I am so grateful to have known her for the few short weeks that I did. I am grateful that Sheraya was there to make me laugh in times of suffering. She had a contagious smile and a heart of gold. All of my memories with her will be cherished and remembered forever. Sheraya will forever live in my heart... In our hearts. I know everyone says "She wouldn't want us to be crying..." at a time like this, but I don't know if that would be true with her. She truly embraced the times she cried because she knew it was always for some special meaning. So as we sit here, reminisce on the tears you shed with Sheraya, whether it be out of joy or pain because those are the times that mean so much. Let's embrace together the gratefulness that we all feel for being given the chance to have known Sheraya. She will be forever missed, but I know that in time, I will get to meet her again. We will all get to meet Sheraya again and I'm sure she'll be sitting there at Heaven's gates ready for us. Let's pray..."

I sit here thinking about how I was just up on stage a couple hours ago saying this, and I am in disbelief. Did I really say this? I don't even remember it even a little bit. 

But what I do remember is trying to contain my sobbing as I was praying. Trying to catch my breath as choked out the words, "In Jesus Name, Amen." 

I sat there for a second with my eyes still closed, listening to the sniffling of everyone in the audience. I looked up and one by one people started standing up. Clapping. Do people really clap at these things??? Although I was slightly confused at that, I was overcome by joy. I felt a peace about the words I shared because I knew that they were meaningful in many ways.

And boy am I glad that I wrote out my ending before hand because I am sure I would have drawn a complete blank! 

The rest of the service was absolutely beautiful. And after the service I was approached by more people than I would have ever imagined. People thanking me left and right for the wonderful speech I gave. All of this affirmation was such a blessing.

I don't know if I would ever volunteer to give a speech at this sort of thing again, but if asked, there is a good chance that I would say yes!

I feel so honored to have been able to share on behalf of Sheraya. 

"Those we love don't go away,

They walk beside us every day,

Unseen, unheard, but always near,

Still love, still missed, and very dear."

Lord, although I know my nerves will

always get the best of me in this sort 

of situation, I thank you so much for the

opportunity to speak truth in to the lives

of others that know Sheraya. Thank you 

for her friendship. I am so blessed.